The Life of a Canoness
by Kotarou-sama
Summary: Master Scribe Kotarou's latest work can at best be described as useless drivel. - Khorne Review This latest biographical account will at best amount to quaint gossip. - Imperial Times The wonderful F/F pairings in this book, is a delicious, if heretical treat. - Slaanesh Post
1. Chapter 1

_**It is the 41st millennium. For more than a hundred centuries the Emperor has sat immobile upon the Golden Throne of Earth. He is the master of mankind by the will of the gods, and master of a million worlds by the might of his inexhaustible armies. He is a rotting carcass withering invisibly with power from the Dark Age of Technology. He is the Carrion Lord of the Imperium for whom a thousand souls are sacrificed every day, so that he may never truly die.**_

_**Yet even in this deathless state, the Emperor continues his eternal vigilance. Mighty battlefleets cross the daemoninfested miasma of the warp, the only route between the distant stars, their way lit by the Astronomican, the psychic manifestation of the Emperors will. Vast armies give battle in His name on uncounted worlds. Greatest amongst his soldiers are the Adeptus Astartes, the Space Marines, bioengineered superwarriors. Their comrades in arms are legion: the Imperial Gurads and countless planetary defence forces, the evervigilant Inquisition and the techpriest of the Adeptus Mechanicus to name only a few. But for all their multitudes, they are barely enough to hold off the everpresent threat from aliens, heretics, mutants and worse.**_

_**To be a man in such times is to be one amongst untold billions. It is to live in the cruellest and most bloody regime imaginable. These are the tales of those times. Forget the power of technology and science, for in the grim dark future there is only war. There is no peace amongst the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter, and the laughter of thirsting gods.**_

* * *

><p>The tap-tap-tap of tiny running feet pulled Canoness Kiana from the tedious paperwork. She knew the footsteps, and the sound placed a tiny smile on her face. The paperwork was all but forgotten when a tiny girl bowled into her office. "Guess what! Guess what! I got an A on the history test! Isn't that great auntie Li!" Quickly wiping the smile from her face, Kiana got up from her chair and walked over to the girl, with a stern voice she told her. "No running in the monastery, you know that Noël Trumaine!"<p>

The girl looked chagrined and nodded, Kiana smiled enveloping the girl in a hug. "I'm so proud of you, now let's go tell your mother, she'll be shocked." Taking the girl's hand they walked through the small monastery. For the last two evenings Kiana had been tutoring the girl in history, they had done it in secret as Noel wanted to surprise her mother. It would certainly be a surprise, Kiana thought. Noel was smart, but everyone knew that she couldn't remember her history lessons for more than five minutes.

To Kiana it was a familiar feeling, she too couldn't remember any of her history lessons in the Schola Prognium. Though the drill abbot had changed that, he told her stories as she cleaned and maintained the training weapons. Now Kiana could pass on that caring, while Noel cleaned the bolters Kiana told her stories of ancient battles. She knew that the old drill abbot must have felt a similar joy, when she had graduated at the top of the history class.

They walked into the large monastery kitchen, Noel's mother Sister Superior Francesca, was entertaining the gossip club. "Sister Superior, I found this little terror in my office." Kiana forced herself to keep her voice neutral. At the sound of her voice the four battle-sisters in the room immediately came to attention, and Kiana chuckled inwardly. _That's what you get for gossiping about me._ She hadn't heard anything they said, but she was the current hot topic. The fact that she was single, was the topic.

"I am terribly sorry Canoness Kiana, I hope she didn't disturb you too much." Kiana was praying to the Emperor to hold it together for Noel, they had agreed to tease Francesca together. "I wanted auntie Li here, when I told you about the history test." Francesca's face hardened at the overfamiliar address. "Noel Trumaine, that is Canoness Kiana, not auntie Li!" Kiana was praying with righteous fervor that she could hold back her laughter. "She's your sister, which makes her my aunt!"

Kiana burst out laughing, the wonders of irrefutable child logic. The rest of the room erupted in laughter, they knew that she found the exasperated face of Francesca hilarious. "True, I am your sister and she is your daughter, Sister Superior, thus I must be Noel aunt." Kiana had always been the cheerful one, but ever since she took the mantle of Canoness two years prior the chances of carefree laughter had almost disappeared. No one wanted to pull a practical joke on their superior.

Placing Noel in front of her, Kiana continued. "So, my lovely niece has something to tell you, Sister Francesca." She watched as Francesca sighed, it was her greatest joy when the stern Francesca surrendered to happiness. Kiana knew the woman needed it, her onetime husband had been killed eight years ago, shortly after Noel was born. "Yeah, yeah. Noel, how horrible did you do this time since you wanted the Canoness watching your back?"

Kiana tried to hide the snicker, but it was clear the three other sisters heard her. "I- um," Noel started while looking at the floor, "GOT AN A!" The girl was smiling, and Kiana watched as the sisters cheered. Francesca hugged her daughter and congratulated her. Noel wriggled free from her mother's iron grip, and hugged Kiana. "Thank you auntie Li, you are the most amazing teacher ever!"

Four pair of eyes snapped to look at her, and Kiana blushed slightly under the weight. "Yeah, um, a lot of stuff happened and, well, Noel got an A, and your bolters are all shiny." She knew the sisters viewed this as a minor miracle, everyone had tried to teach Noel and everyone had failed in a spectacular manner. Gina, the newest sister spoke up. "And this is why Kiana is Canoness, she just hands out miracles right and left." The rest of the sisters nodded at sagely words.

"Canoness please join us, we were discussing a matter of grave importance." Sighing Kiana sat at the table, she knew what was coming next. Picking up Noel and placing the girl on her lap, she hoped that it would keep the conversation somewhat contained. "So, Canoness, tell us have you found mister right, yet?" _Here it comes, I'm thirty-seven and single, so what?_ Kiana was depressed by her own thought, and gently hugged Noel.

The assault was started by Francesca. "So, have you found him?" "No." Gina pushed further. "Have you been looking?" "No." Kiana was tired of this routine, the gossip club made it a commitment to relentlessly interrogate her at least once a week. "Why haven't you been looking?" Viviane continued. Kiana wanted to run, there simply was battles that couldn't be won. "What are you talking about?" Noel interrupted the harpies. Francesca looked at her daughter and shrugged. "We are talking about why Canoness Kiana hasn't found a husband yet." "That's strange mommy, I thought auntie Li wanted a wi-" Kiana clamped her hand over Noel's mouth.

Kiana whispered into the girl's ear. "If you finish that sentence, I will have you running laps around the monastery for the next ten years." However, the damage was already done, the gossip vultures had heard enough to infer the rest. Noel's compliance wasn't necessary as the gossip club rearmed and reloaded for a second assault. They looked like four large hungry felids eyeing an injured deer, Kiana knew she was the deer.

Francesca's eyes narrowed and a sly smile spread on face. "It was drill abbes Grumman! Wasn't it?" Gina turned to her superior with a confused look. "Wasn't what? Sister Superior." Kiana watched the exchange with mounting horror, she was quietly praying the Litanies of Tranquillity. "Oh, well back in schola the Canoness told me she had a crush on one of the instructors…" Uncontrollably blushing, Kiana let the rest fade away as she continued to pray.

By mid-evening Kiana's entire commandery of 24 sisters, was seated in the kitchen discussing her every interaction with women. Her cheeks had been burning for hours, and it had been quite a while since she ran out of verses for the Litany of Tranquillity. She wanted to make a tactical withdrawal from the kitchen, but with Noel napping on her lap she was forced to remain.

* * *

><p>"…Yeah, they look so cute together." Kiana's head snapped up at the comment, whenever someone said she was cute, it was often meant as an insult. Francesca started laughing. "Oh you should hear what sister superior at schola used to call her; <em>little sister of battle<em>." The room erupted in laughter, and Kiana cringed. She had worked hard to be rid of that particular nickname, but Francesca was with her through schola and would obviously remember.

"Just because I'm a bit short doesn't mean I'm child size!" The moment the retort left her mouth, Kiana regretted it. "No, of course not Canoness. It's because you buy your clothes in the children section." Gina's comment made the gathered sisters laugh. "I think the munitorum is still under the impression that we have a twelve year-old running the monastery." Ymera, one of the Seraphim, quipped.

"Well at least I don't have to look down when greeting a Space Marine!" Kiana knew the comment wouldn't have much bite, but she was desperate for a comeback. "Don't tease auntie Li, she's just the right size." She hadn't noticed Noel waking, but the girl hugged her and buried her head under Kiana's chin. "Yup, just the right size…" Francesca let the statement hang in the air. In some way Kiana felt relief as the conversation moved away from her love life.

"So, have you found miss right yet?" Kiana groaned, they were right back where they started. "No." She sighed. "Have you been looking for her?" Gina added helpfully. Right now Kiana wished she hadn't left her boltpistol in the office. "No." She sighed again. "Are there any potentials in the room right now?" Ymera added hopefully. "I would _never_ date one of you gossip vultures!" All the sisters gasped in mock hurt. Noel was nodding off again, and Kiana found a way to retreat. "I better go put the little one down for the night, she has an early morning."

* * *

><p>Effortlessly Kiana lifted the little girl and carried her off to bed. The night could have been worse, Kiana thought to herself. Ever since she realized her attraction to women, she had dreaded the day someone found out. Over the years she realized that it was actually common enough, and no one in the order would bat an eyelid at it. However, the fear of rejection and discrimination ran deep inside her. <em>Emperor, I feel like a fool for not telling my sisters.<em>

As Kiana kissed Noel goodnight, she felt the gentle currents of the Emperor's will settle over her. She felt it might be time to start looking for miss right, or at least miss right now. With the pleasant thoughts, Kiana returned to her office. The mountain paperwork had been reproducing while she was away, she had no recollection of the two stacks flanking her desk. With a sigh Kiana dived into the task, praying that the paperwork wouldn't further reproduce during the night.

Corphus IV was by imperial standards a worthless planet, the southern two-thirds was covered in dessert and constant sunlight. While the northern tip was covered in ice and perpetual darkness, this left a narrow habitable band mostly covered by ocean. With a tiny landmass and no natural resources, Corphus IV was _de_ _facto_ abandoned by the imperium. Or it was, until the Order of the Broken Blades established a tiny monastery near the capital city.

The order was by far, one of the strangest organizations in the imperium. Even the enigmatic Inquisition wasn't able to compete in strangeness. Kiana, Francesca and the young Gina were all recruited from schola, but most of the members were from various other orders. The reasons for turning to the Order of the Broken Blades was as varied as the order itself. The order was categorized as an Order Hospitaller, but they were as adept in combat as any major Order Militant and they were competent scholars equal to any Order Dialogous.

Their mission, as described by Saint Lunaris, was to civilize and protect marginalised worlds, such as Corphus IV. Here with a flock that encompassed less than sixty thousand, Canoness Kiana was _the_ imperial authority. She worked closely with the planetary government, seven elected elders, in order to meet the imperial quota of levies. In reality her job was to manage the only hospital, schola and enforcers. If the enemies of man arrived, only Kiana and her twenty-four sisters would be able to stand between them and the populace.


	2. Chapter 2

Canoness Kiana awoke with a splitting headache. By the Emperor what happened? She was sitting in her office chair, still dressed, and the stacks of paper were scattered all over. Rummaging around for her dataslate, Kiana accidently touched one of the piles and started a paper avalanche. "By the Emperor!" Kiana contemplated how to, once and for all, get rid of this mountain range_. I think there's a multi-melta in the rhino._ At the thought of incinerating her office she laughed, the brief levity helped her calm down.

Kiana raced along the near deserted streets of Capital City on her black assault bike. After handling the mess in her office, without the aid of a multi-melta, she immediately set out to complete the errands of the day. Her first stop was at one of the local bakeries, while the monastery certainly could provide baked goods, one of the tenet of the Order of the Broken Blades was to buy locally. And the bakery girl was so very cute, not that that was really important, of course.

The small shop was just about to open when Kiana arrived, and she looked at the young woman appreciatively. She wasn't really into anyone younger, but it never hurt to look even if you weren't buying. The firm ass and bouncing breasts helped cheer her up after waking up in a war zone. Walking over to greet the young woman, Canoness Kiana noticed a small golden band her finger. "Good morning, who is the lucky guy?"

The woman was startled, and when she turned around she looked slightly shocked. "Ah, um, Canoness Kiana, good morning." The woman blushed and fidgeted. "Her name is Gwendi. She so nice, she works at the water station." A Sister Superior would often officiate a wedding, and she recalled signing a wedding document last night. "Congratulations, may the Emperor bless your house with joy." By the Emperor there goes two possible. Kiana left it at that and ordered the bread for breakfast, and dozens of sweet rolls, she felt like pigging out after realizing she might have had a chance.

Parking on the road with a clear view of the countryside, Kiana dug out the sweet rolls and started eating. As she ate in silence the sun slowly rose over Capital City, in a spectacular array of colour. "So what if I'm single and can't find a decent woman to marry, it isn't like the Emperor is dropping them from the sky." Complaining to herself, Kiana quickly looked up just to check. Nope, no falling girls.

* * *

><p>As Kiana turned to leave a great explosion rocked the city, and her com-bead crackled as the emergency services started to respond. Quickly she switched to one of the dedicated Sororitas frequencies. "Sisters, mount up. Explosion in the eastern sector, full gear!" She jumped on her bike raced back towards town. As she neared the eastern sector, the chaos on the streets intensified. The com-bead in her ear was hissing from the various reports, firefighters were trying to keep the conflagration in check and all the enforces were evacuating citizens.<p>

As Kiana pulled up, the fire marshal came running over. "Canoness Kiana, it is an honour." He saluted her, as Kiana almost sighed. Right now she'd rather want a report than a ridiculous attempt at formality. "The machine shop is going up in flames, my men are trying to limit the damage, but so far we have been unable to enter the shop." The man must have read her mood, as he quickly reported the situation.

To her horror Kiana realised that there might still be people inside. "Any reports of survivors inside?" The fire marshal took out a pictslate and pointed to a room in the building. "If any they are here, but we can't get to them. The fire is too hot to walk through, and if we cut a hole in the wall the backdraft would kill them and my men." Kiana studied the pictslate closely. Striding towards the inferno, Kiana tapped her com-bead. "All sisters, set up triage. Entering to check for wounded. Sister Francesca has command." Giving what might be her last order, Kiana removed her robe and faced the raging fire.

As Kiana sang the Hymns of Ablation a golden light covered her body and the flames turned away from her. No force in the universe could touch her, she felt only a slight warmth when the fires enveloped her. The air was filled with smoke and it burned in her lungs as she slowly made her way to the backroom of the building. The door was shut, but to Kiana a steel door was no bigger obstacle then a dry twig. With a powerful kick the door flew off its hinges and slammed into the opposite wall.

The sight was terrible, of the few workers that had made to the relative safety only two had survived. Kiana knelt over the dead to administer the last rites, it was a task she rarely had to perform for someone so young. With a heavy heart she picked up the two survivors, the beating of their hearts renewing her resolve. She strode resolutely through inferno as the roof suddenly caved in, but as she sang loudly the debris broke apart and scattered around her.

Loud cheers broke out when Kiana walked away from the crumbling ruins. Her sisters had arrived in full battle gear, those not tending to the wounded were singing the Hymns of Supplication. She carried the survivors to a waiting rhino, and loaded them up for transport to the monastery hospital. As the rhino sped away Sister Francesca held out her robes, and Kiana quickly put them back on. No longer half naked and unaware of the situation, Kiana ordered most her sisters to return to the monastery.

Standing in front of the smouldering ruin, Kiana considered the possibilities. Well aware that this could have been a chaos plot, she wanted her sisters to handle the investigation. "Sister Francesca, take your celestials and start the investigation, I want a full report in an hour." Kiana turned and walked towards fire marshal, he watched her approach with nervous apprehension. "Marshal, my sisters will start the investigation, if I deem it appropriate I will release their report to you."

The marshal clearly didn't like being kept on the side-lines, and his face contorted in anger. "Canoness, I cannot in good conscience leave you to trample on, what is still a crime scene, I would like to at least know why my men are being held back." Kiana sighed, knowledge of the ruinous powers was not divulged to anyone outside the imperium's most trusted servants. "Marshal, my sisters will determine if this was an attack on the imperium. The law is clear on this, attacks on the imperium takes precedence over local matters."

* * *

><p>Out of the corner of her eye Kiana saw one of the enforcers approach. "Canoness Kiana, Marshal Govan, please this is a matter of grave import to all. Canoness perhaps you could use a more diplomatic approach," the marshal huffed pleasure, "and Marshal Govan, you must understand the Canoness protects not only this planet, but the entire imperium." The young enforcer was impressive, and Kiana decided to take a closer look. She was tall and slim, with lovely auburn hair, though the flak armour did nothing to accentuate her feminine form.<p>

Kiana was, despite everything, partial to a woman in uniform, even if she had no interest in any of her sisters. The young enforcer, she thought, was rather delectable. "Ah, yes. My sisters are trained investigators, and I can ensure you that if the fire is of no threat to the imperium, you will have our full cooperation." The young enforcer nodded. "Of course Canoness Kiana, I do not doubt the efficacy of your sisters, and I certainly would not jeopardise the security of the imperium." The young enforcer nodded again.

The long silence was a bit awkward, and Kiana wanted to leave but there really wasn't anywhere else she could go. As if on cue the young enforcer spoke up. "By the way, Enforcer Mira, of the eastern precinct. It is an honour to meet you Canoness Kiana." As Kiana grasped the outstretched hand, she noted how soft and warm it was. "Like wise, Enforcer Mira. Eastern precinct you say, then you must be under the command of Sister Viviane. How does that go?" Each of the precincts were commanded by a member of the retribution squad, and had six or seven enforcers attached.

A slight blush crept up Mira's face, and Kiana noticed that she avoided eye contact. "Very nicely, Canoness. Sister Viviane is an inspiration to us all." Kiana was certain that Viviane was an inspiration, she was tall and athletic with golden hair, a real inspiration to artist all over the segmentum. But to Kiana's great disappointment, this one, while a member was infatuated with the Orders most nefarious player. To quote Viviane, _the first tenet of the order; the human body is a shrine to the Emperor, so I'll worship in all of them_. Kiana was certain that wasn't quite the meaning, but Viviane wasn't the only one with that view.

While contemplating the tenets of her order, Kiana's com-bead came alive. "Canoness, I think you should see this." Francesca's voice was hard so there might be trouble. With a nod to the young enforcer and the fire marshal, Kiana walked over to the ruins. As she reached the kneeling form of her sister, her trepidation grew. "Sister Francesca, Report." There was a short pause as Francesca gathered her thoughts. "Canoness, this fire…"

Kiana's face hardened as she anticipated news of the ruinous powers. "…Was completely accidental. There was a leaking promethium canister left next to the heater. When the heater turned on it ignited the promethium." Kiana groaned, only Francesca couldn't discern the difference between a terrible accident, and the horror of the ruinous powers. "Alright, write up an incident report, hand a copy to the fire marshal, and have it on my desk later."

* * *

><p>Sighing, Kiana walked back to her assault bike. Perhaps a long drive will clear my mind, Emperor knows I need it. With this thought she swung herself on the steed and started the engine. Immediately the engine sputtered and died. She tried to start it a second time, but it had the same result. "By the Emperor! What else will happen to make my day worse?!" Still muttering curses, Kiana got off her bike.<p>

Once a year, Kiana had her bike tended by one of the local enginseers, while she generally found the cult creepy at best and heretical at worst, their service was undeniable. Pushing the heavy bike to the service shop, she muttered the Litany of Tranquillity to keep herself from screaming. As Kiana neared the shop, her spirit soared. She saw the old grumpy tech-priest leave, this meant that his assistant would do the service.

The assistant was an attractive woman in her early thirties with dark brown skin and black hair, her single mechadendrite often moved about like a cute tail. She often found herself wondering how it might _help_ in bed. As she entered the shop the cheery woman greeted her with a beautiful smile. "Canoness, It is a pleasure. How can the mechanus be of service?"

Kiana watched the exited young woman, and considered for a moment if she was available. "It appears my assault bike is refusing to start. Could you possibly fix it?" Asking an enginseer to, fix it, was tantamount to sacrilege for them, but after this horrible day Kiana simply didn't have the energy to be polite. "Of course Canoness, let me just have a little look." Although Kiana wasn't entirely certain, the young woman sounded slightly peeved, however her mechadendrite swished excitedly.

While watching the young enginseer minister to her bike, Kiana got a wonderful view of her ass. "Oh, by the Omnissiah. What did you do? Drive through an inferno?" The comment dragged her from the thoughts of the young woman, and it took Kiana a minute to realise what had been said. "Yeah, something like that. Why?" The mechadendrite snapped at her, like an angry snake. "The filtration systems are shot, I need to clean it. Better call Lacy and tell her I'll be late." Kiana noticed the golden band on the enginseers finger. Frak!

An hour of torment later Kiana was on the road again. With the wind through her hair, she concluded that this might just be the worst day. Though at least the amount of paperwork waiting for her was diminishing. She pulled up at the monastery, and walked down the halls towards her office. As she turned the corner Kiana felt her knees give out, in front of her papers spilled from her office like plagues from Nurgle. "By the Emperor!"


	3. Chapter 3

Another day in the monastery, and Canoness Kiana finally got a handle on the paperwork. It only took seventeen battle sisters to stop her from using the multi-melta, though casualties were high, eleven wounded, they managed to prevent her from declaring the office diabolus hereticus. By early afternoon she had caught up with everything. Wondering what to do with this sudden spare time, Kiana decided that staying in the office would reduce the risk of stumbling into more idiotic disasters.

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes later, Sister Francesca burst into her office. "Canoness Kiana, I have a report. Chaos forces has emerged from the warp and are at this moment mounting an assault…" Kiana had little time to digest the information, she quickly tapped her com-bead. "Sisters, prepare for battle!" She looked at Francesca and motioned her to continue. "…On Silvanus II." <em>Oh, Frak!<em> "Sisters, stand down."

Twenty minutes later, Sister Francesca burst into her office. "Canoness Kiana, I have a report. Orks have landed from the space hulk daemonforge and are at this moment mounting an assault…" Kiana had little time to digest the information, she quickly tapped her com-bead. "Sisters, prepare for battle!" She looked at Francesca and motioned her to continue. "…On Stygies VIII." _Oh, Frak!_ "Sisters, stand down."

Twenty minutes later, Sister Francesca burst into her office. "Canoness Kiana, I have a report. The planetary government has rebelled and are at this moment mounting an assault…" Kiana had little time to digest the information, she quickly tapped her com-bead. "Sisters, prepare for battle!" She looked at Francesca and motioned her to continue. "…On Verdan III." _Oh, Frak!_ "Sisters, stand down."

Twenty minutes later, Sister Francesca burst into her office. "Canoness Kiana, I have a report. Necrons have emerged from a hidden tomb and are at this moment mounting an assault…" Kiana had little time to digest the information, she quickly tapped her com-bead. "Sisters, prepare for battle!" She looked at Francesca and motioned her to continue. "…On Jumael IV." _Oh, Frak!_ "Sisters, stand down."

Twenty minutes later, Sister Francesca burst into her office. "Canoness Kiana, I have a report. Eldar have emerged from a hidden webway gate and are at this moment mounting an assault…" Kiana had little time to digest the information, she quickly tapped her com-bead. "Sisters, prepare for battle!" She looked at Francesca and motioned her to continue. "…On Dantris III." _Oh, Frak!_ "Sisters, stand down."

Twenty minutes later, Sister Francesca burst into her office. "Canoness Kiana, I have a report. Tyranids have made planetfall and are at this moment mounting an assault…" Kiana had little time to digest the information, she quickly tapped her com-bead. "Sisters, prepare for battle!" She looked at Francesca and motioned her to continue. "…On Scintilla." _Oh, Frak!_ "Sisters, stand down."

Twenty minutes later, Sister Francesca burst into her office. "Canoness Kiana, I have a report. The Tau have landed and are at this moment mounting an assault…" Kiana had little time to digest the information, she quickly tapped her com-bead. "Sisters, prepare for battle!" She looked at Francesca and motioned her to continue. "…On Bellis XIV." _Oh, Frak!_ "Sisters, stand down."

Twenty minutes later, Sister Francesca burst into her office. "Canoness Kiana, I have a report." "STOP! Answer this, does this report concern Corphus IV?" Kiana eyed her sister with a stern look. "Yes, Canoness." She nodded for Francesca to continue. "One of the farmsteads are being attacked…" Kiana quickly tapped her com-bead. "Sisters, prepare for battle!" She looked at Francesca and motioned her to continue. "…By a pack of wild dogs." _Oh, Frak!_ "Sisters, for the Emperor!"


	4. Chapter 4

The wild dogs turned out, in fact, to be the neighbours' puppies. Canoness Kiana, stressed from the idiotic reports, spent the rest of the evening sulking in her bedchambers. Time, however, marches on, and Kiana quickly found herself knee deep in trouble. The two events, which came to define the Canoness took place on the same day. It all started in Canoness Kiana's office, an unscheduled meeting with a representative from ChaUn Inc.

* * *

><p>"Canoness, there is a mister Khorne to see you. He doesn't have an appointment." Kiana was handling the fiscal reports for the monastery's tax deduction, when Francesca informed her of the guest. "Send him in, I can make time." She closed the file on her dataslate and turned to welcome the mystery guest. The man must have been at least eight feet tall, his skin had a reddish hue and his face was slightly deformed giving the impression of a dog.<p>

Those were the first features Kiana noticed, but with a closer look she could tell that he wore an immaculate suit of the highest quality. "I am Canoness Kiana, it is a pleasure to meet you mister Khorne." She grasped his hand and shook it, and Khorne answered in a booming voice. "Likewise, Canoness Kiana." Kiana could feel the entire monastery rumble from the force of his voice, though the slight snarling made it a little difficult to distinguish the individual words.

"Please have a seat, tell me what brings you to Corphus IV. But first, how do you take your recaf?" Kiana winced as the chair groaned under the weight of her guest. "Cream, no sugar." She immediately tapped her com-bead and informed Francesca to bring them recaf. "Mister Khorne, it is my pleasure to welcome you to Corphus IV, I am sure you are a busy man, so I'll try to expedite your requests. However, we are a small planet, with limited administrative capacity, so you must expect an extended processing time."

Slowly the large man nodded, Kiana was contend with her diplomatic approach and hoped it would make negotiations easier, whatever his business was. "Canoness, I represent a venture group named ChaUn Inc. we wish to start a small business venture on the planet, as it involves military assets I came here to inform you of this." As he spoke with the booming and snarling voice, Kiana studied him. She was certain of two things, he would start his venture no matter what she said and he was open for a certain amount of negotiation.

As Kiana was running out of time formulating an answer, Francesca interrupted with their recaf. But she needed a little more time, sipping her recaf inspiration struck her. "Mister Khorne, you do look slightly familiar, are you perhaps a vidpict celebrity? I am sorry, I don't really follow those things." Kiana studied his face, it was clear he had considered lying but thought better of it. "No. My fame, or should I say infamy, is derived from another line of work. Military intervention, would be the term."

Still Kiana couldn't quite place him, but all she could do now was have him open up about his business and make it up as she went along. "Mister Khorne, I am sorry for moving off topic. Please, let's continue with your business." Putting on his spectacles, Khorne took out several documents from his briefcase and studied them, before handing them to Kiana. "These, outline the details for ChaUn's venture here on Corphus IV. Certain terms, such as overall presence, is negotiable. We will also negotiate financial compensation and location."

Kiana looked over the documents before commenting. "Your invasion permits are up to date, correct?" This was one of the major issues with all the paperwork, someone somewhere, forgot to fill in the renewal forms. "Ah, yes, I attached a copy at the end, but if you like I can procure the original somewhere." Flipping to the end of the document, Kiana noted that the permit was up to date. "We hardly have any ork invasions anymore, it's a real shame they can't even sign their own name to get a simple permit." They both sighed. "Yes Canoness, all this paperwork is killing the spirit of chaos, but times are changing." "That they are, mister Khorne. That they are."

Taking out her dataslate, Kiana quickly checked the defence accounts. "So, mister Khorne, I can tell from your permit that you are not permitted for any slow corruption. So I am assuming you're planning a strike mission, how many forces would you be sending?" Kiana looked at him pointedly. "If you turn to page eight, we have detailed which forces we would send, page nine and ten describe location and compensation respectively."

* * *

><p>Going over the document carefully, Kiana noted the disparity between her forces and the ones Khorne intended to bring. "Mister Khorne, there seems to be a great disproportion between our forces, care to elaborate?" She watched as Khorne scratched his head nervously. "Oh, I might have come to that number, uh, because I expected to deal with both you and a local PDF." Kiana found a small victory in his miscalculation. "Well, there is no PDF, or SDF, or anything really. Except the Sisters of Battle, the local enforcers are, sadly, incapable of dealing with anything more violent than an angry toddler."<p>

Clearly dismayed, Khorne looked a little like a lost puppy, Kiana almost felt sorry for him, almost. "Mister Khorne, let me get straight to the point. You need to reduce the army, cut out the bulk of cultist and traitor marines, also no vehicles we simply don't have the manpower to counter them. Furthermore, this right here, about manifesting a chaos god, that is a titan-class threat, it has to go." Kiana grabbed her dataslate and started calculating the power of her own forces. "Canoness, I do apologise, I was under the impression that the sub-sector was well defended. I should have researched it better, instead I brought you such an outlandish proposal."

Pleased with the acknowledgement, Kiana moved on to more practical topics. "Mister Khorne, I have a force estimated to 625 standardized strength points." Kiana looked over the dataslate and took a sip of recaf "Of course it assumes we won't be facing any daemons or vehicles. We are even a woman down in one of our squads, so our true SSP would be slightly lower."

There was a long pause while Kiana sipped her recaf and Khorne calculated on a smaller force. "Well, Canoness, I may have a solution. I reduced it to a powerful champion supported by berzerkers and marines with a small group of cultist, bringing the total to 625 SSP. A good old fashioned infantry fest, is this acceptable?" Kiana considered it for a moment, the ecclesiarchy had taught her a lot about the ruinous powers, and one lesson stood out. _Challenge the leader, for he must accept._

Without a solid reason to turn down the contract, Kiana focused on maximizing her potential gains. The second most important thing to consider was the location, Corphus IV offered three distinct options. First was the temperate lowlands, their current location, but it was a small area providing all the food and housing most of the population, so it was clearly out. Second would be the northern ice wastes, but since the place was in perpetual darkness it would give the ruinous powers an extra advantage, so Kiana quickly ruled it out as well.

The final option, the desserts of Corphus IV. Kiana considered it the most likely place, since Corphus IV was heavily tilted the sun never sat over most it. While traitor plague marines were known to spontaneously explode when exposed to high temperatures, her own sisters couldn't fight in the near molten sand. The most northern part of the dessert would be ideal, reasonable weather, no civilization and most important no major advantage for the ruinous powers.

* * *

><p>"Mister Khorne, I must insist that invading directly in the city is out of the question. This entire region is the sole province, and must therefore remain as undisturbed as possible." Taking a deep breath, Kiana readied herself for possible refusal. "Canoness, while it would certainly be interesting, without a large force I see no particular reason to stage it in the city, or this province for that matter. I did want to observe, and personally I hate the cold, so would it be possible to conduct our business in the south?"<p>

This might be her good fortune, but Kiana was still not in the end zone. "Well, I can't say that I or any of my sisters are great admirers of the heat, but for you I'm sure we can find a compromise." She studied him closely, the first doctrine of battle, she reminded herself. _If you see your victory, it is probably a trap._ "Very well Canoness, how about the most northern part of the dessert, after sunrise. Then it shouldn't be too hot?" Kiana almost did a victory dance right then. "Very well, I will concede to that."

The last item in the contract, compensation, needed severe adjustment. The contract originally went with ownership of Corphus IV, but the rules forbid wagering an entire planet with a force smaller than fifty-thousand SSP. Royalties would also need adjusting, as she would be stuck with a major clean-up and purifying. "Mister Khorne, the rulebook states, under title 62 paragraph 3, the ownership of a planet cannot be surrendered if the defending force is smaller than fifty-thousand SSP. We are 49,375 SSP short."

"I am well aware, although I hoped you would have missed it. It might flounder in litigation court for millennia, but in the end Corphus IV would have been _de facto_ ours." This was expected, Kiana knew that the heretics would use underhanded methods, so she studied the contract meticulously. "As for dividends, I see you were offering thirty percent of your royalty rights, if we win. However, there will need to be a massive clean-up afterwards, and thirty won't cut it. Plus we would only get a local deal, and they would be incapable of offering more than a symbolic amount."

Kiana wasn't sure how much money thirty percent would be, but she suspected it wouldn't cover all the expenses. "Canoness, you have a point, please tell me what you're thinking." She considered the options for a moment, if he believed his team invincible she might get a good deal. "Mister Khorne, Preparation and cleaning will be funded by your royalties, since you are the aggressor. The remainder of all royalties will be split ninety-ten. To the victor goes the spoils, no?"

The end zone was still some distance away, but Kiana thought might just get there in one piece. "Ah yes, to the victor the spoils!" Khorne bellowed, his snarling voice shaking the foundation. "While ChaUn can't lose it is my duty to cover, at least marginally. You keep all your royalties no matter the outcome, we pay preparation and cleaning separately, and you get sixty percent of our royalties if you win, ten if you lose." This was a good offer, Kiana knew that the Prioress would approve. "Make it seventy-fifteen and you got a deal." But it never hurts to squeeze it a little, and with this Kiana would have flipped the original offer around.

* * *

><p>Kiana watched as Khorne deliberated the offer, slowly he nodded. "Canoness, we have a deal. It will be a pleasure to watch you on the field of honour." While they had been discussing, Kiana's dataslate had recorded everything. With the click of a button she could quickly edit the verbal agreement into a contract. "Mister Khorne, I am happy to hear that. Now if you wait a moment, the cogitator in the crypt will produce a revised contract, so we can sign it immediately."<p>

The revised contract arrived, in triplicates for both of them, Kiana read it meticulously. Any error, even a mistype, could void it later. Since she couldn't find any problems with the contact all that was left was for Khorne to finish reading. "Canoness, I find that the contract is in order, let us sign it." As they signed the contracts, Kiana was dreading what it entailed, she liked her sisters and wouldn't trade them for anything.

"Mister Khorne, it has been a pleasure to meet you. Let me escort you out." As they walked through the halls, Kiana wondered how much of their battle equipment was actually in working order. The power armour moved and they fired their bolters at least once a month, but only the rhinos were used often. "Ah, and Canoness, in the future, please call me Khorne." With that he disappeared into purple flame, returning to the warp, and Kiana realised who he was. _Ah, the major chaos god of war, that Khorne_.


End file.
